Real Programmers don’t program GUI (“Give Up, Idiot?”) applications. Real Programmers program daemons, services and boot loaders.
Category: Programming
“Don’t document the problem, fix it.”
– Atli Björgvin Oddsson
Real Programmers don’t program in interpreted languages. Real Programmers don’t need an interpreter to communicate with a computer.
“As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.”
– Dave Parnas
Real programmers don’t bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn’t sell it, they don’t eat it. Vending machines don’t sell quiche.
“I think it is inevitable that people program poorly. Training will not substantially help matters. We have to learn to live with it.”
– Alan Perlis
Real programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every real program. Puppy architects won’t allow execute instructions to address another execute as the target instruction. Real programmers despise such petty restrictions.
“If you think technology can solve your security problems, then you don’t understand the problems and you don’t understand the technology.”
– Bruce Schneier
Real programmers like vending machine popcorn. Coders pop it in the microwave oven. Real programmers use the heat given off by the CPU. They can tell what job is running just by listening to the rate of popping.
One Furious Llama 