Real programmers… 0×21

Real Programmers don’t program in 4GL languages. In fact, no programmer programs using 4GL. 4GL is for imbeciles who cannot even program in Visual Basic.

Real programmers… 0×20

Real Programmers disparage the use of the decimal system. Real Programmers count in hexadecimal. Always.

Real programmers… 0×1F

Real Programmers don’t program GUI (“Give Up, Idiot?”) applications. Real Programmers program daemons, services and boot loaders.

Real programmers… 0×1E

Real Programmers don’t program in interpreted languages. Real Programmers don’t need an interpreter to communicate with a computer.

Real programmers… 0x1D

Real programmers don’t bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn’t sell it, they don’t eat it. Vending machines don’t sell quiche.

Real programmers… 0x1C

Real programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every real program. Puppy architects won’t allow execute instructions to address another execute as the target instruction. Real programmers despise such petty restrictions.

Real programmers… 0x1B

Real programmers like vending machine popcorn. Coders pop it in the microwave oven. Real programmers use the heat given off by the CPU. They can tell what job is running just by listening to the rate of popping.

Real programmers… 0x1A

Real programmers don’t believe in schedules. Planners make up schedules. Managers “firm up” schedules. Frightened coders strive to meet schedules. Real programmers ignore schedules.

Real programmers… 0x19

Real programmers don’t drive clapped-out Mavericks. They prefer BMWs, Lincolns or pick-up trucks with floor shifts. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded.

Real programmers… 0x18

Real programmers scorn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to “think big.”